dogwonder.co.uk

Main Characters:

Tony: small, quick, dark of face and eyes, restless
Dubya: huge, shapeless, pale eyes, slow moving
Colin: stable buck, had a back injury
Sadam: Boss’ son, short, once a welterweight boxer
Rummie: jerkline skinner, local authority
Condoleezza: old swamper, missing one hand

Story (brief)

Hot Thursday late afternoon. Tony and Dubya spend the night on a ranch, a few miles south of Crawford, Texas. They plan to start work in the UN farm the next day and dream of making enough money to get their very own farm.

Tony tells Dubya ‘The farm got a little shack on it, an’ a chicken run. Got a kitchen, orchard, cherries, apples, peaches, ‘cots, nuts, got a few berries. They’s a place for alfalfa and plenty of water to flood it. They’s a pig pen and lots and lots of rabbits’

‘I likes rabbits’ says Dubya

The next day Tony and Dubya sign up to a U.N. Security Council resolution on the U.N. farm. Sadam tries to pick a fight with Dubya. Tony reminds Dubya where to hide if there’s trouble. Dubya wants a puppie.

Tony tells Rummie, Dubya grabbed a red-dressed girl in Crawford. Dubya gets a puppie. When everyone from the Sec urity Council returns, Saddam annoys Dubya until Tony tells Dubya to “get him.” Dubya crushes Saddam’s hand. Rummie orders the media to say it was a WMD accident.

While the rest play war, Dubya kills his puppy in the barn. Saddam’s two sons Quasi and Uday show up. Dubya explains his fondness for soft things, and they encourage him to stroke thier hair. When they want him to stop he breaks their necks out of fear. Dubya does all he knows and runs and hides. Condoleezza finds Quasi and Uday and brings Tony. When the Iraqis find out Saddam goes for his WMD, but it’s missing and he assumes Dubya took it. Condoleezza stays with the bodies while all go after Dubya.

Dubya comes to a river. A huge imaginary rabbit tells him Tony will leave him. Tony shows up and reassures Dubya. Dubya asks Tony ‘Tell me like you done before’ so while they talk of their dream, Tony puts the WMD to the base of Dubya’s skull and fires. When the men see Dubya everyone assumes Tony took the WMD from him and shot him. Rummie says “You hadda, Tony,” and takes him for a drink.

‘Experts have developed computer games specifically designed to boost people’s self-esteem.’ (Source BBC News)

Wa? Bollox. I know exactly how to improve self-esteem with a computer game.

1) Take one copy of Fifa 99.
2) Set up friendly between Real Madrid and Tottenham/Leeds.
3) Go to options and remove bookings and set game difficulty to easy.
4) Start game.
5) Kick the living crap out of oppostition, to the point all subs are used up and opposing team are gradually reduced to around 8 men.
6) Win game 27-0.
7) Laugh like evil genius.
Repeat Steps 1-7 ad infinitum until happy.

‘Scientists have gathered some remarkable evidence which shows that it is possible to see something without observing it’ link

Ofcourse we see without observing, damn fools. Can you imagine what our brains would have to cope with if we took in everything. I pity the fool that does that.

Infact most of this seems rather similar to the idea of Schemata - schemes which allow us to integrate knowledge in ways by linking traits and facts together so that the ‘lumpiness’ of reality is accurately represented in our minds. Algorithmic analysis rather than continuous meticulous observation, i.e. if it quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, and has feathers like a duck, it is probably a duck.

It went well, my legs now feel like somebody replaced them with concrete posts.

It turned out the race wasn’t for women - I got the wrong website. Also when I rang them to confirm my registration they were somewhat confused by my gruff voice and male name. Oops.

I have rather stupidly agreed to run 5km tonight for ‘Race for Life’ Although looking at the website: ‘Join us in one of our 150 women-only 5km races across the country and help us cure cancer faster’

Oh dear. Firstly, I’m a bloke, secondly I am a very unfit bloke.

No worries, 80’s steel will get me through (a sax solo and a key change woudn’t go amiss either). And ofcourse the fact it’s for Charidi.

Risin’ up, back on the street
Took my time, took my chances
Went the distance
Now I’m back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happened too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

* It’s the eye of the tiger
It’s the thrill of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And his fortune must always be
Eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry
They stack the odds
Still we take to the street
Fot the kill with the skill to survive
(Repeat *)

Risin’ up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance
Now I’m not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive
(Repeat *)

The eye of the tiger
(4 times till fade)