Quote on where I was born: ‘The one redeeming feature of burnley is that it isn’t Nelson… no point nominating that, because your reviewers wouldn’t last ten minutes.’

Quote on where I was brought-up: ‘Gateway to the Medway Towns, Chatham (with a silent ‘t’) has much to offer, if only as a beginner’s guide to its even uglier urban-toilet sister, Strood. This Safeway-centric gem is just a five minute train journey (in the dark as the lightbulbs will have been thrown out of the window) across the turd-brown waters of the River Medway.’

and where my family and I used to occasionally holiday: ‘Evenings are usually brought to an abrupt close by the loss of consciousness, precipitated by looking at someone’s bird and receiving a sovereign’n'hate fist in the head.’

Courtesy of ‘Crap Towns‘

Oh dear. Amazed I survived really.

‘Doing hard time in monkey jail’

‘He was one bad monkey. And last week he was sentenced to life in prison for his crimes, inmate No. 13 at the country’s only known monkey jail, where very bad monkeys are sent to live out their remaining years.’

‘”Monkeys are very furious,” said Ujagar Singh, the Patiala district spokesman. ‘

‘Once put in jail, they are not given names. Instead, jailers refer to them by where they were caught: Sanam Monkey or Jalandhar Monkey. “They are so notorious, why should we give them a name?” Atalia said. “They don’t listen anyway,” added Surinder Singh, who is in charge of the Motibagh zoo. ‘

‘people remembered him with a mixture of fear and fondness. Sure, he threatened the children with bricks, but he also was cute, people said.’

Absolute bloody genius….sometimes this bloggin business is easy.

Mad as a box (alt. barrel) of monkeys.

So, finally got my connectivity sorted out…

One K700i, one USB Bluetooth 100m 2.4GHz Wireless100 M CLASS 1 B1, quite a lot of surfing. Et voila.

Nous etes un MoBlog.

My dog:

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